random

I'm super excited for a summer in Colorado! It'll be nice to get out of this state, be completely on my own and without anyone I know there for awhile. And it'll be weird to go home at 5pm and literally have nothing to do except read or watch movies or go on hikes and such.

These next two weeks may possibly kill me, but at least I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile and productive for once.

I hate that I don't know what I want in the end, that I'm working my ass off here for reasons that I don't even know, only to procrastinate actually figuring out what I want to do even more. I know I want to make a difference, but it's so hard to find an avenue to do that, to change what I see as the most important problems that I feel like here are overlooked or ignored for the appeal of something that can be solved by building a cool machine or something else that doesn't really float my boat.

I feel, in some ways, like high school again, but not really in a great way. Sort of like everything that I tried not to have happen here in some places just has come full circle and ended up exactly like I didn't want it to. Then again, in other ways I've gotten way more than I would initially have expected, so I guess it all evens out in the end.